Энциклопедия

Childhood In Minor


(Instrumental track)


Beautiful Emptiness


You're the worst of all
with all your accusationsand compunction
I can't suffer this duress from someone
so depraved and selfish.
You embody all that i've been through
Without you I am sure I will be loved

My existenceiconforms to your distress
Your ambition the cause of mine
A disruption. I'm nothing, even less.
Misfortunes never come singly, and I was there to stay.

You don't allow me a single place,
nor any love into your lives.
An unperceived, annoying presence you'd rather ignore
But in my life you know you'll leave a beautifull emptiness.

Where you used to be
Imporent screams
will turn into the love of silence
My liberation, then silence
will be perfect and pure.
It's all in my dreams;
I'll remove you
and all our mutual disgust.

In my dreams,
I solve the problem by removing it
My wish is to see you grovel
like you once forced me to!

There's no other way, here's my course of life
A path without the sickening trace of you
I need the beauty of a cleared, pure world
This eternal interruption of your rash life can save me!

You don't allow me a single place,
nor any love into your lives.
An unperceived, annoying presence you'd rather ignore
But in my life you know you'll leave a beautifull emptiness.

It's sad to feel you don't believe in love
It's sad that you're so cold.
and I'll be the same if you keep on poisoning my life
Drowning in self sacrificing visions
When you're gone, than we will all be released.

It's sad; my life has been like hell so far
It's sad that you're the cause
And I'll be cured in this beautifull, empty world
Floating, floating away with your perilous visions and hate
When you're gone, silence will fill up the emptiness
When you're gone, we all will be released

In my dreams I shall rinse my body and soul
My wish the accomplishment lies here before me in my hands

I will be released from your accusing eyes
and torrents of verbal abuse
You'll know the causes are your own mistakes
while life flows out of you
and exempts me forever


Between Love And Fire


Here I am, the future is mine
and mine as well
we'll stand at the top of a prosperous society
Our dreams can become reality
I am in charge of my life's great circle
I control my path of wealth

Ambition high, burning
the flames burn deep in our souls
To be known fot efficiency and passion

Seperate goals but fire shared
We both need our professions
do what you want but I'll never give up mine
Oh I can think,
I can work, I don't need your support
Our love is pale, but it's not in my way
to share our lives, our fire
Shall I become a man of distinction
we can share ou lives, our fire

Ambition high, burning
the flames burn deep in our souls
To be known fot efficiency and passion

Ambitions, dreams, they're burning (feel it burn, in our soul)
The flames burn deeper towards our goals, our needs

Suddenly, we have been careless.
A new life, a new dimension.
It disturbs our solid future,
It puts out the fire we both need.
It's a choice between the passion.
Or the love that can be saved now.
See the child here as a saviour.
Choose for love and let this life begin

We have been careless but you provoked it
Your weak search for more love between us, a blind emotion
Sould I believe that this new life can save us.
A saviour, a prodigy. so choose for love and let this life begin.

See birth, a saviour, a curse
See these lives, they see this as a choice between their life together.
between love and fire

With this child we must make choices, it can save us if we want
We have a life together, no choice between love and fire

Feel it, this life in me, moving
With this child we must make choices, it can save us if we want
Oh, I fear it, the path we take
Is this a choice anyway, between love and fire

Ambition high, burning
the flames burn deep in our souls
To be known fot efficiency and passion

Ambitions, dreams, they're burning
The flames burn deeper towards our goals, our needs


Sins Of Idealism


Hello Father, hello mother
There is so much I don't get
Please don't be mad at me; I will try harder.
I'll really try the best I can
That's not enough
You're the cause of my domestic captivity

And I will close my eyes and fantasize
of a world that's not so cold
That's how it will be
Suffer the causes of my personal misery
I've sacrificed my beauty
my freedom, my dreams
the independent me

Hello Father, hello mother
don't blame me
for things I didn't do
Yes I will go now and I'll be silent;
please stop screaming, and love me.
That's all you can see
Speak of love while you've ruined
what's meant to be

And then I'll close my eyes
to fantasize of a world
Where I can be free
And free to be.

Sinner or righteous,
the line is so thin
can you condemn it
Can you be the one to judge it all
Or accuse yourself if the sentence is your life

Hello Father, hello mother;
forgive me for standing in your way
I just wanted somebody who'd hold me and listen,
are these illusions are they.
Only fantasies?
Imagine how my life could have been
I would still have my beauty, my freedom, my dreams,
The independent me

Our Course in life is a path we must take alone
No one can choose what to do.
only you, so the sins we commit are the struggles within
There is no judge to decide what is right, what is wrong

Tell me, can you live in freedom
knowing that your choice hurt someone

Once we had a life and now we have you
The saviour of love is a catastrophe
I'll leave you both if I must give up my dreams
My chances aren't here with you
I won't be chained because of this

The sins of all, the sinner in me
I follow my dreams, you call it blasphemy
If my ideals are sins
Yo me they are the strength within
Then I shall stay a sinner

Sinner or righteous, the line is so thin
Can you condemn it
Can you be the one to judge it all
Or accuse yourself if the sentence is your life


Eccentric


What do they see when they look at me
Who are they to judge me if they never spoke with me
never looked without laughing, never tried to see, see me

I can't believe that it is only me, the person to hate,
the only left out.
I can't believe how they can be so mean;
if they could feel the brutal stings of their words
and the bitter cold when they laugh
once more I'm

Running, running away I must hide
Can't take it anymore
A fight, to free me from an endless struggle with life
Running, tell me how far should I go if they're all the same

This fight, I am fighting my way through

I don't really want to be like them, the way they behave.
the way that the live
I don't really need someone, no people like that
But someone in a world with warmth and respect.
A world without the feeling I must be

Running, running away I must hide
Can't take it anymore
A fight, to free me from an endless struggle with life
Running, tell me how far should I go if they're all the same

This fight, I am fighting my way through


Digital Deceit


Come enter; here's my world
Closed off from pain and cold
Come enter; come inside
A secret place of light
'Cause in this world I'm rid of you, you can't get through

So here I am; I'm beautifull
and I'm sure my friends will tell you the same
So here I am; you can't deny that I am someone you'd embrace
I am the queen; I'm pure and loved by everyone

Come enter; here's my code
Through the world wide wire you'll know me
The queen of her own world
My story; meet my life

So now you see, there is another me
Not someone insecure and strange
My father's will in here, it doesn't mean a thing
And I don't fear his violent rage

I am the queen; You know I'm loved by everyone

Come enter; here's my code
Through the world wide wire you'll know me
The queen of her own world

Stop dreaming and wake up
Your silly world is not what's real
This world of fake friends
and computers, digital deceit

This cyberwall (this cyber wall)
is built to break out or hold
The choice is yours (the choice is yours),
will you dream or see what's real

Oh... no, no more
Just let me be alone with myself
These conflicting thoughts increase my doubts

I am the queen, I must be loved
This so called 'wall' is there to protect
A life controlled by keys, closed off from pain and cold


Through Square Eyes


This is the world through square eyes,
I can see fiction like it's real
Window to an unknown paradise
A paradise where no one sees
I wish I saw it all,
A paradise where no one knows,
all these images for real, the reality

It's a seduction, like a dream
I can feel pain, I feel the blood
Out of your hands but in your minds
The fire of the burning fight
I wish I saw it all, I feel love as a disease,
all these images for real, in my fantasy

Good or evil, right or wrong
Find yourself between the dying crowd, the blooded streets
How can't this affect a mind
How can't this affect a pure, young heart

In my own world it's getting worse
It's never good enough for them
Learn this, do that, do as we say
As if results are all there is
It doesn't affect me much, I cannot be more than I am,
the screen shows me enough, face reality

I can play I'm strong and tough
And let them feel who should be blamed
Fighting and killing for new lives
A way to learn how to survive
I can play on and on, it ends up just the same again
but my life is not a game, life should be a game

Good or evil, right or wrong
Find yourself between the dying crowd, the blooded streets
How can't this affect a mind
How can't this affect a pure, young heart

Hope is fragile,
and all there is to make them see I'm not that bad
Hope is the last reason not to flee, not to run away
into the tempting square world of fantasy, free me
Oh, free me

Hate is an impulse
Your aversion, my reason

Games, movies, things a child should not see
A flash; see, but you won't forget
A game; play, play and hear and see, again
It marks the heart and spills our youth

I'm in the world of square minds
The beauty of a clearer world
Fighting a game, its name is life
The game of life is hard to fight
I've shot my hate today, you'll know the causes when it's too late
its embodiment has paid, feel reality

The pictures say more than you see
Why should I see what you've told me
Nothing gets worse, it stays the same
The same is killing, anyway
I wish I saw it all, so could you please let me escape
all these images for real from reality

Good or evil, right or wrong
Find yourself between the dying crowd, the blooded streets
How can't this affect a mind
How can't this affect a pure, young heart?


Blind Pain


Everything keeps getting worse
The terror at home, the dread at school
I mustn't count on much support,
I'm still locked out; it's up to me,
how to face the teasing and the pain
Hate, one thing we have in common
Play your game

Beat me, hurt me
A physical release from mental pain
Don't make me explode in your way

This is a chain of torture,
a line of pain, no other way to show how you feel
This is the rebel in her, the torment from him,
the absence of help, the mother's care

Rage, it burns all around us
Blind pain
So abuse is only weakness
It feels more like a cry of distress, an act of incapacity
Feel the threat
Feel the oppressed ambience of having no place to go,
no one who'll take care of my salvation

This is a chain of torture,
a line of pain, no other way to show how you feel
This is the rebel in her, the torment from him,
the absence of help, the mother's care

Here comes the final episode
of terror and pain, abuse and hope
Here comes the fight between us all
A fight between a love long gone
I'm to blame, but it's their own blind pain

Spoken outro:

Now look where you and your selfish ambitions have gotten us!
It's never been worse!You gotta work, work work, come back without
even noticing me or that ignorant kid of yours! You only think about yourself.
I only think about myself, it's me again? You self-centered bitch!
You're the one complaining all the time, but when that kid freaks out, who's
supposed to take care of her, huh?! Besides, it's not my child! Wasn't it ours,
our little 'saviour' of a love we never had? A fucking...
Yeah, there is no 'us' anymore, darling! Ever since she was born
and I was left at your apparment raising her, I think about all I ever dreamed
of because of 'our' decisions! We both should have made compromises,
but the only one who did was me!
Oh, there you go again! You feel awfully sorry for yourself; why
don't you take a look at my side of the story for once?
Ah, yeah sure, 'your side'... well, excuse the fuck out of me for being
in your way! A child you never wanted, living in a smaller house than you've
ever dreamed of, and all the while I'm getting old and ugly, right?
You must really long for somebody young and fresh, or if this means already...
Enough!! Don't you dare accuse me of being unfaithful! That's
how you ruined my loyalty; I can't believe I once fell in love with a...
Oh, neither can I, you bastard! Neither can I! And loyal? I dind't
know you're familiar with that word!
There's a lot you don't know, a lot you'll never understand!
We've lost contact, baby.
Oh yeah, really? Well, that doesn't seem to bother you. Why don't
you just go on? Go, go! Drift off away on that little island of yours and don't
forget to drown on your way to a better life!!
Maybe I will, maybe I will! I'd rather drown than be locked up with
such a freaed up bith and a freaky daughter! I can't believe we're still
holding a conversation about something so stupid!!
Fine, go! Just GO!! Drown! I hope it'll be slow and painful!
Shut your fucking mouth!
Asshole... Asshole!


Two Sides


Somehow everything's getting worse
My fight is just one of their struggles
And have I ssen it all Oh no,now their hate's reaching the top
And guess who's to blame,and guess who's responsible

If pain is our line,
The one that connects us in life,should we hold on

I only feel their shame when I'm near
Life should be more than this,should be warmer than this
Cause there's more grief and pain,oh yes
There is more than what I caused,
things beyond me
And their eyes reflect things they'll never say out loud

If pain is our line,
The one that connects us in life,should we hold on

Our dreams,ambitions and passion
Our plans for the future,our combined goals
A life with status,respect and adoration
our wishes and hope destroyed at once
Without those things to connect us,
a life together is even worse than alone
we all need two sides of the story

Two sides,one can become a reflection
of the truth,a lie
You'll be judging soon
Two sides,they both have their emotions,opinions and thoughts
on who's to blame on reality,can you tell

If pain is our line
The one that connects us in lief,should we hold on


Victim Of Choices


See my life, the failure, you'll make the same mistakes
a child, marriage, your choices, they're all in your hands

Where were you when I needed you
Your interference is not welcome now

I can't believe these words
showing feelings that he never had,such a human behaviour
did she teach him these feelings of hate

Stop! I want you to listen
There is so much at stake
the child, victim of choices
She could never make

I listened but you never spoke
this child is not yours

What are they talking about
Her voice full of compassion
She's warning of things from the past
a victim of choices

Give her a chance to explain why she's here
She will interfere with all that we are
Maybe her fear is a sign she's for real
Her fear is too late,she is to blame

Fighting and blaming, they don't know much more
It scares and excites me, the past repeats itself

NO! We're all victims

I try to feel and understand
That their distant past is like my life today
It's a circle, a curse
I am one of the victims
One of their, one of your victims


Reflections


I'm in a spiral of thoughts,the past,the pain, it all comes back
I see but now I see more,even feel their side of this tale
I realise their fate,no one's to blame, two sides

My life's a mirror that no one sees
so if I could show them my own vision to this world
My life's a mirror I need them to see,
so they would open up to me and fill up my emptiness

I still really try to feel, a strang experience to enter the other side
I feel there's so much we never said
It's all misunderstood, the emotions that we had

My life's a mirror that no one sees,
so if I could show them my own vision to this world
My life's a mirror I need them to see

Voice in the back of her head
Maybe if you would have the guts to open up
maybe the world would do the same,maybe,maybe
You can still be a part of this world,still be the queen of the ball
not of your own empty paradise where no one sees the beauty inside

Face the world outside my safe shell
I must face reality for once
I've never felt the passion of a warm life
Games, TV, I know they're not real, they're just a substitute

This could mean
the breaking point in these three lives
The moment of insight that could change their misfortune
Let this help be enough to make it
Let this be stronger than pain,the ancient wall between love and the comprehension
that will lead to the inner forgiveness
A reflection outside the circle of your life is all you should seek


Life's Vortex


My mind is under an attack,
although no one sees
My past is pounding in the back of my memories
It's always there to poison my mind with all I do
Feelings I know so well seem to come back
as if nothing's ever changed

Fear was one of the reasons to crawl away into a world I lost
I know the rules,I play the game
but somehow it always stays the same
In spite of my will,in spite of my hope,in spite of it all

So for those who believe in this life,
spin right on this circle-must be round
Every turn has its vortex,you'll drown if nobody warns you
and shows you another circle of life

Nothing will change,
nothing is done for the victim I am forced to remain
Cause these days make you feel,and you are,on your own

Study,work hard,marry,reproduce and become the perfect model
Can you stand the test of time if life is a vicious circle
without the mirror of another path

So for those who believe in this life
spin right on the circle-must be round
Every turn has its vortex,you'll drown if nobody warns you
and shows you another circle of life